M for Mother

すり鉢。ものごころついた時にはうちにあった。かなり後に母が買ったもうひとまわり大きいのもあるけれど、捨てられない。

そのすり鉢を、この春に日本に戻った時（が、ずいぶん前に感じられてしまうのは、ここが真夏でものすごく暑いせい）にセブに持ってきた。なんかお守りみたいで嬉しいなぁ。

なんて思ってたら、お守りのごとく毎日仕事の日はつけていた母の形見の50年ものの腕時計が止まって動かなくなってしまった。１週間前のこと。
いまだに左手首を触る、見る、癖が抜けない。

This Japanese mortar is over 40 years old, I guess. This was in my house, I remember seeing it being used by my mother ever since I can remember. It is one of the essential kitchen tools in my home. I brought it here in Cebu when I went back home this April. I bought a little marble mortar & pestle at a market in Cebu, but for me the pair is not easy to use. I have been too familiar with my mother's old Japanese mortar (and I am Japanese) so I decided to get it from my home. It's like a kind of keepsake, guardian of my kitchen. It has a chip in the edge but looking at it I feel secured.

Today is Mother's day. I wear the watch, a memento of my mother, which suddenly stopped a week ago and I stopped wearing then for my working hours. Just resting, hearing sound of falling rain (Yes, it's been a long while since we had rain here! Blessing rain!). Suffering from aching gum and palate and headache, thinking of my mother's pain from her disease which she suffered from 30 more years. Remembering her last days.

in the late afternoon

In my childhood and early teens, I used to go swimming in the nearby swimming pool or in the river. I loved the light and color of the air after swimming: it was about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. The color was just about the same as that in this picture. It invites me to feel sleepy and made my heart thump from kind of nostalgie. I was in between two thoughts: I have no home to come back and I could go anywhere I like; It's time to go home.

Now I love taking siesta, or catnap, in the afternoon in summer in this rather hot, humid room. I fall asleep reading something or just day dreaming. I wake up gradually mostly from weird feeling. I get up in full sweat, to regret having wasted my precious time, but at the same time I just love it: that moment reminds me of those childhood summer days which I mentioned above, memories not particularly special. That moment is also very alike that which I had during my school days. In the afternoon I couldn't resist sleepiness and fell asleep in the class, waking up feeling ennui and having no sense of where I was. I miss those old days sometimes, but not so enough to feel that I wish to go back, to be young again. Some odd steps led me where I am, to this pendent state where I can't call myself something concrete. Which seems just the same as this time of a summer day: at 3 or 4 in the late afternoon. I love it.

I just wanted to write about my favorite time, and I wandered around to lose the track. Well forgive me; it's my blog, my space for murmuring and letting out miscellaneous things that I have in mind.

I for ...

I? Ice? Ivory? hmmm, I don't think of many concrete things starting with "i". I could talk about ice, especially because it's high summer, but I will talk about "island".
Yes, i for island.
I can say I live in a big island named "Shikoku" and I can'T help longing for islands: I sometimes dream of traveling to vast, deserted land on a continent, but mainly I crave for going to or just seeing islands, small islands.
I prefer islands not sophisticated nor too artistically decorated, I mean islands where old things and tradition are cherished. I like islands with its own time flowing. I love islands where cats lead a harmonious life with the local people:) The ideal is that people in town be more generous, considerate as they used to be, but I feel the case is not always so. Perhaps it is because I expect such favorable characters of  island people.

シマが好き。いや、そりゃそうだけど、もとい、島が好き。「ものがたり」は別に好きなものについて語る（ぷ）カテゴリーじゃないのだけど、"i"で始まるもので具体的なもの、形をもつもの、というのが思いのほか少なくて、季節柄"ice"にしようかと思ったけど、思い入れの強さで"island"に。ほら、住んでるのも四国という大きな「島」だし。
だだっ広い、荒涼とした大陸的な場所に行ってみたい、と思うことも多々あるけれど、島に行きたい、の方が断然多い。行かなくても、対岸から、あるいは遠くから眺めるだけでもいい。小さな、輪郭のつかめそうな島ならなおよろし。わざとらしい手の加えられていない、打ち捨てられたような部分も大事に守られた伝統も残っている島の方がいい。そこ独特の時間が流れている（というより、時間を意識させない）島が好き。猫が人間とつかず離れずのんびり暮らす島は最高。町は世知辛くカサカサした部分が増えた（と聞く）せいで、なおさら島に寛大でのんびりした空気を求めてしまう。身勝手だけれど、せめて島にはそういうのがずっとあってほしい。

lento all day long; Syodosima Isle, Kagawa; May, 2007
w/LOMO LUBITEL 166U

G for gem

gem (n.)
1. (also gem stone) a beautiful stone that has been cut into a special shape, jewel
2. something that is very special or beautiful
3. very helpful or special person

I never seem to be inseparable from gem#1. I don't wear jewel or I don't buy one (nor does somebody given me one). I had 3 favorite gems: 2 of them were pendant, 1 was on a ring.
One pendant, my first genuine gem (diamond) on platinum necklace, was given by a neighbor as a gift for my getting into uni. The diamond was really very tiny, looking just like a stardust, so adorable. It was restrained and just right as a first jewel. But one day, after I stayed a night at a friend's room, I found the necklace missing. I didn't have the slightest idea where I had lost it. Maybe in her room, maybe on my way home. But it never came back to me.
The next gem, which I fell in love with at the first sight and bought for the first time, was a brand-name item. Which was also a pendant but I forgot what it was: I loved the design, but still can no longer describe what it was like. Because I lost it for the 2nd time I wore it. I remember I took it off before taking a shower, but after that I never saw it again.
And the 3rd and the last gem was a sapphire ring featuring an elephant, which I found in Bangkok and I really loved. I always wore the ring. It was kind of robust looking, so it suited my sturdy finger. But again, it' gone. At my brother's house, I let my nephew toy with the ring. After a while it's simply gone. The place was tidy so we thought we could find the ring soon, but however close we searched, the ring never showed up. Ha!! Then I gave up buying or having a gem. I always carry a limbo, or a black hole, around my right shoulder, and my favorite little tiny gems are supposed to be sucked into it. No doubt.

But I always know my cats are the gem#2 to me. They are a great deal more precious than gemstones! Far more beautiful!! No doubt about that:)

And I always appreciate your concern, gemmy friends:)) I am sometimes self-conscisous, dense, biased, slow, but you don't give up on me. You bring a breath of fresh air into me. Thank you.

宝石にはどうも全く縁がないみたいです。これまでのお気に入りが３つあって、２つは自分で気に入って買ったものだったけれど、どれもこれもすぐになくしてしまった。初めての宝石はいただきもの、星屑のようなダイヤモンドトップとプラチナのネックレス、控えめで気に入っていたのに、ある日友達の家に泊まりにいってなくしてしまった。どこでなくしたか全く分からなくて、気づいたら消えてた、という感じ。２つ目、自分で買ったあるブランドのネックレスはデザインが可愛くて初めて「えいや！」と勇気を出して買った（とはいえ一眼レフよりもずっと安い）。それも２回つけただけで行方不明。３つ目の象をデザインした、小さな小さなサファイヤのついたリング、半年弱は指にはまってたかな。ゴツいリングだったので骨太の私の指にも違和感なくてこれは一番気に入っていた。けれど、これまた甥っ子の家でおもちゃにさせてたらなくなってしまった。あの片付いていた家で、しかもまだハイハイしか出来なかったくらいの甥っ子の行動範囲を隈無く探したのに出てこないなんて。私の右肩あたりにブラックホールがいて飲み込んでしまったとしか思えない。他にも、きっと、いろいろなものを。

あれからは安もんのしか買わなくなり、いつしか１個のリングを除いて（アレルギーの起きないらしい金属で作られたもの）まったくつけなくなったので、アクセサリーを見て心揺れることもなくなった。人生残り３０年（もないな）、宝石を買うことはないだろう。

ウチノネコズが私の宝石。

それにこんな私につきあってくれる数少ない人々。本当にどうもありがとう。

gems: Polaroid SX-70 + 600 film (expired); 7/52 weeks project

F for farmers market

Yesterday I went another farmers market. I love farmers markets more and more---I used to love seeing and taking photos of local markets in strange places, communicating with local people there (without buying anything in almost all the case;p), enjoying the atmosphere there. But these days I also find shopping at local markets here enjoyable and lovely. You can get fresh veges & fruits, fish & meats in some places at a reasonable price. You can also find veges grown without any fertilizer or pesticide. They sometimes come with bugs but I'm no longer freaked out by them;) Rather they look kind of lovely... no, I can't go so far. But they are sign that the veges have been grown in totally natural environment.

At this time of the year I always buy Japanese radish, field mustard, napa cabbage, komatsuna or spinach, and broccoli. You can buy them really at a low price!:)) and they are yummy!!

産直ラヴ。前から旅行に行くと必ず地元の市場を覗いて写真を撮るのがマストコースだったけれど、このところ地元に産直市が増えるに連れて、産直依存度、産直好き度も高まっている。なんと言っても安いし、新鮮だし。雰囲気やディスプレイは海外のローカルマーケットに追いついていないけれど、スーパーに行くより断然楽しい。

この写真は昨日行った別の産直で撮ったのだけど（いつものとこよりフォトジェニック。笑）、安さ、品揃えはいつものところの方がいいかなー。ここはちょっとこじゃれたパンやスイーツはいろいろあるけれど、無農薬野菜とかの表示があまりなかったような・・・時間的に売り切れてしまってただけかな？

産直の魅力の一番大きいところは、無農薬・有機栽培、と言った野菜が安いこと。見てくれはよくなくても、虫がついていようと、気にしない（虫ももう慣れた。笑）。それに虫が食ってるのはおいしい証拠、最悪（？）の場合は虫も一緒に調理しちゃって食ってると思う。

しかしこの時期の大根・白菜のでかさと安さにはびっくりだ。キャベツもスーパーの半額以下だし。大好物の菜の花がめちゃ安いのも嬉しすぎて毎回買ってしまう。

adrenaline-rushing sight: Polaroid SX-70 + 600 film (expired); 4/52weeks project

E for egg

I tried to think of something starting with "e", but I could only find a few things around me. So I talk about "egg"; another food talk again;p

Eggs. I have one almost every day. Lovely round shape, tender colors of white and yellow. It all makes me smile:)) And eggs make various dishes delicious. What I love most of the dishes with eggs is "tamago kake gohan" rice with raw egg seasoned with soy sauce, I could say (wow! I never imagined this is on Wikipedia!;). OK, some do say it's not a dish, but it never matters to me. The moment of mixing egg with rice just makes me happy.

Still I haven't had any egg in my fridge for these 3 days! There are literally empty holes both in the fridge and in my heart! Don't laugh at me that I'm too serious, blowing up little things. Eggs are like the blanket of Linus to me (well I do have some other "Linus's blanket"). I ate castella which is made of a lot of egg, but the sight of eggs, the white round thing, is a must for me.

The photo is the only photo with eggs in my archives on flickr. Two eggs on bagel. Just lovely, huh?:D

p.s. I wanna go to this cafe with you again, tomily!;)

卵。名前がかわいい。姿形が可愛い。おいしい。大好き。

卵が入ると何もかもグンとおいしくなる、と言ってしまっても過言ではないかも。先日の皇室御用達カステラ、あれもおいしかった・・・。でも、あの卵の見た目、割ったときの黄身がホロンと盛り上がってる様子、とか。そういうのがなくちゃ。というわけで、最もシンプルにして最も大好きな卵料理は卵かけご飯。え？料理じゃない？？いやいや、ウィキペディアの英語ページにもちゃんと載ってる立派な料理！（ちなみに私はご飯の上に卵を割って醤油を掛けて崩し混ぜて食べるのが好き。）人生の最後に口にするとしたら・・・たらこ載せご飯か卵かけご飯か。ってくらい。

卵を切らして冷蔵庫の卵ラックがからっぽだと、心にもぽっかり穴が空いたような心地。

warm dream: @umie (cafe), Takamatsu, Kagawa; nov. 2008

C for ... cat (of course!)

You were always a wild kitten : Polaroid SX-70 + Time zero film, 2003 or 2004
Cats are my source of endless happiness, inspiration, and love. As you already know very well, I am a cat person. In fact I love all animals and I wanted to live with dogs when I was a kid, but as I grow older I get so committed to cats. Felines are now the most involving to me. They never cease to fascinate me. Their eyes, nose, mug, tongue, ears, paws, fur, tail (long or short), purring, playfulness, thoughtful look, appearance; all contribute to that lovely beautiful family:) But if you're a cat person like me or you contact with cats even a short while, you know the most attractive point about cats is their various characters; it's just like we humans or dogs are each unique and have a variety of feelings and expressions. For example, each my cats has her/ his own way of, say, expressing jealousy: Koma hides herself, keeps distance and stares at me accusingly, giving me a dark look; Yoda calls loud to draw my attention; Tabi jumps in my lap, purring; Sima just sits all alone, waiting for her turn. >
In the photo above, and in my memory, is Tengteng, aka Tengteco, who was always naughty, demanding, and adorable. She looked tough and independent but more lonely and needy than any cat else around. I'm worried if she is doing OK without me. Perhaps she is worried if I'm doing fine without her beside.



*There are many other things I'm interested in and love besides cats;)

B for ... book

piling up : Polaroid SX-70 + 600 film / 2007

Something I feel uncomfortable without, if I didn't see any around me I'd feel like something is missing, is a book. I am all right if I don't hear any music in everyday life. Of course I love listening to music and when I need it it's indispensable, but I love natural sounds like that of waves or birds much more indeed. But about books, even if I am not a bookworm literally and I don't read so much or check newest books earnestly, I'd say I love books and can't do without them.

I often forget what the ending was like of stories that I read before, and what is the worst, I once threw away old books I enjoyed during my early childhood... they were travel guide books my mother had bought. I really , really regret it. Nowadays old books are hard to get due to its high price or sometimes hard to find. It is often true of books (and magazines). So When I encounter books that interest me I buy them if they are affordable for me.

I love being with books. I love seeing them piled up (like in the photo;). I love lying reading flipping over the pages, falling asleep without even noticing. Books are a kind of sanctuary I can escape into; they are a medicine box for me as it were. (oh, I hate real medicine in fact!;D)

Other favorite things I think up starting with the letter b; Bread is fun to eat and to make myself, though I make just simple kinds. Breakfast, one of the greatest pleasures of traveling, I skip usually, though I had big breakfast every day. I'm not at all interested in brand-named bags, but I fall in love with some bags, most of which are rather large kind. Oh, I love basket and so do my cats;) My big basket-bag is very convenient and excellent both for carrying my cameras and for shopping groceries. Blankets are essential; in autumn and winter, I'm wrapped in one when I'm home. My favorite blue blanket is also loved by Yoda, so I have to use another blanket... Today the sky is so blue! I can hear voices of frolic children from the ground of a nearby primary school --- they are having athletic meet:) I can hear birds tweeting. I can feel the wind from the blue sky. They all beat the blues.

A for "あめちゃん(ame-chan)"

classical kurukuru candy : Polaroid SX-70 + 600 film / December, 2008

For a little practice of writing (both English & Japanese;) and thinking, I start blogging about things around me as the mood takes me.

Today's feature is "ame-chan", hard candy.

We, I mean people living in Kansai and its neighboring area, call it with "chan", which is used for calling close people. Usually we use "chan" for people, or animals in which case it sounds rather childish, though. But Kansai people, especially "okan (which means mama")" or "oba-chan (auntie or middle-aged woman)" call hard candy "ame-chan" and you might get some from those ladies when you walk around Osaka;) I love it. I don't like hard candy in particular, but when asked if I want "ame-chan", I can't help saying "Yes!"

There's something familiar and adorable about "ame-chan".

To me A is also for Aria (my first SLR camera by CONTAX:), Advocate (an old, classical beauty by ILFORD), airport (I'd love one near my house! ), ambience (something I place the greatest value taking photos), and apple. It's the best season of apples, but this year I don't find my favorite apple "紅玉 (ko-gyoku)", why? I love crispy, rich-flaovred apples. Sourness is a must: it's the key, especially to making confiture! (oh, which makes me realize that I don't like very much fruits that lack sourness. That explains why I don't like peaches, watermelon, and melons so much.)

And A is of course for "Akane", my name;)

「あ」はアメちゃんの「あ」

ものがたり、はじまりはじまり。あいうえお順、アルファベット順に。というわけで、今日は「あ」。そしてお題は「アメちゃん」

どうしてなのか、「アメちゃん」って、ちゃん付け。カステラちゃん、ガムちゃん、お餅ちゃん、は果てしなく違和感があるのに。とはいえ、実は私はちゃん付けしてなかった。大阪で商店街を歩いているとオカンたちが「アメちゃんあげる」と言って渡してくれる、と言う芸能人たちの話はよく聞くけれども。

でも今日３歳になる甥っ子が「アメちゃん」と言うのを聞いて、あぁ、やっぱりここはなんちゃって関西・・・＞m＜と思ったのではなく、アメにまで「ちゃん」をつけて、それをやり取りするその心がかわいらしいなぁ、と感じた。お遍路さん文化のこの四国も、やはり相手を慈しむ精神から「あめちゃん」が存在してるのかしら、とふと思う。アメは積極的に食べたいと思わないのだけど（すぐ口の中を切っちゃうので）、「アメちゃんいらんで？」と言われると「いただきます♪」と反射的に答えてしまう。お互いの間の小さなかわいい心遣い、気遣い。ふっとにこやかになる瞬間。

ちなみに「あ」は「アリア」「アドヴォケート」（ともにマイカメラ。笑）、「あいあいがさ」（したことないなぁ）、そして「あかね」の「あ」。

※英語ポストとは若干内容が異なってます＾＾；